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Sick note

The girl has spent most of Sunday throwing her guts up and is feeling a little rotten today to say the least. Going to sleep on an empty stomach is an alien concept for the girl that eats everything and I did feel very sorry for the sad little figure who went to bed last night with a face the colour of unbaked cake mix. I have had to take the day off work today as a result – not ideal since I’m self-employed – and am in a quandary about what to do tomorrow. I know that school rules dictate she must not go back to school until 48 hours have passed since her last bout of sickness but who’s to know? I could say she was sick on the Saturday instead, send her back on Tuesday (24 hours vomit-free) and get back to earning the pennies myself ASAP.

I have had discussions at the school gates before about parents sending their children back to school sneakily early following illness and have been irritated beyond belief that such people are putting their own needs before the potential health of every other child in that class. However, now that the shoe is on the other foot, the little devil on my shoulder (I think it’s Dad) is saying ‘sod it, it’s every woman for herself in a situation like this especially as work has been especially slow the last few months ‘ and it’s true, I can ill afford to lose another day. Besides, no-one else seems to have a strict moral code of ethics about sending their sick child to school so why the hell should I? But then the nice little voice in my head (I think it’s Mum) tells me not to be such a sheep and that two wrongs don’t make a right, yada yada, yada. So what to do? What to do?

Hmmm, I have always been a bit of a Daddy’s girl, so…

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Out of school experience

I recently had a weird experience with one of the teachers at the girl’s school. She seems perfectly nice but insists on talking to me as if I’m one of the pupils. There’s a lot of over-exaggeration with her hand and facial gestures and she uses sign language in conjunction with regular speech. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my kids learning signing as part of their education (very handy when communicating with hard-of-hearing classmates and grandma). However, I do object to being summoned to the classroom to discuss my daughter and being pulled down into a semi-crouch in order to communicate on her level. Seriously, is this taking things a little too far? I know that the teachers probably employ this tactic during their working day but frankly, I was a little taken aback with the approach and was hardly dressed for the occasion (too tight trousers and no belt). Anyone walking in behind us must have thought they’d veered of course and into the scooter rack by mistake.

Still, uncomfortable hunched as I was, I endeavoured to try and keep my mind on what she was telling me but in actual fact, I was so desperate to get vertical again, I just nodded along with what she was saying; anything in fact to get this woman’s increasingly animated face out of my own. I have to admit, I found the experience faintly terrifying. I’m sure the kids must be just as bewildered when faced with this approach during the school day and probably fess up to many a misdemeanour they may or may not have committed just to get away from the crazy lady. She would have done a roaring trade back in the days of the Spanish Inquisition I’m sure.

When my friends at the school gates asked what I’d been summoned about, I honestly had no idea and was still a little dazed by the experience. I was fairly sure that I’d agreed to something judging by the amount of frantic nodding and over-exuberant clapping that ensued following my smiling agreement but only time will tell what, if anything, is expected of me over the coming weeks. One thing I do know for sure though, is that I’ll definitely be wearing more comfortable clothing on subsequent school runs.

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