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20 things you will never hear your child say

Recently, I was watching a programme about the funny things children say and laughing about it with the other mums at the school gates. It struck me that there are certain phrases that conversely, you will never hear come out of your child’s mouth. Here are my top 20:

  1. Shall we watch what you want on TV today?
  2. I know we’ve just passed the last services for 50 miles but guess what? I don’t need the toilet
  3. Can I go to bed now?
  4. Can I do my homework now?
  5. Not McDonalds again…
  6. But I really want the comfy shoes not the horrible glittery heels
  7. I love going shopping
  8. Please can I have more sprouts?
  9. I’ve had enough chocolate today
  10. I really love my little brother / sister
  11. I don’t want to have a party this year
  12. Cartoons are boring
  13. Right, who’d like a cup of tea?
  14. Tell me again what games you played as a child
  15. This is interesting
  16. Vegetables for dinner? Yummy
  17. Why not? Let’s try it
  18. You’re right, it does stink. Let me clear it up
  19. Thank you for kissing me goodbye at school mum. I want my whole class to know how much you love me
  20. It was me